I don't write signs -- I photograph them.

I collect photos of signs that make me laugh or snort or grimace. If they reek of bad grammar, missing punctuation or ridiculous phrasing or ideas, I snap them. 


I didn't used to be like this. Well, I was, but I didn't know it. After my divorce, when my ex left me with the kids, the house and the raking -- taking only the toaster oven, one table and the ability to earn substantial dollars -- I projected all our old slides.


His pile included pictures of him and his relatives, his hobbies, his work. My stack filled up with my friends, family and fun. The trash can collected pictures of us together, in good times and bad, and unflattering photos of me in any context.


I was astounded to note that nearly a quarter of my slides contained images of signs. Eventually I had the pix converted to 8-x-10 prints and gathered them into loose-leaf binders.


Now I post these on my website. Many laughs to you.

Buy some acne today?

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This drug store sells three kinds of products in Aisle 2.. 

Which ones do you want to buy?

Go see the turtles. Or not.

At this zoo, you can visit five kinds of animals by turning right. 
Which ones do you want to see?

At the zoo, turn right to see five kinds of animals. 

I'll take iguanas. You?

Dangerous hand dryer.

The popcorn flies everywhere!

In the movie theater, protect your popcorn.

Careful, now!

Watch out! Not for donkey bites, but for the donkey that BITES!

It's not the donkey bites. 

It's the donkey ... that bites.

Please invite me.

Happy one to you.

How many candles?

Put a tarp on it.

Robins, bluebirds and finches are slightly less dangerous.

Bluebirds, finches and robins are far less dangerous.

Sines of writing

Cat on a

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Starring Elizabeth Taylor and Paul Newman.  

Excuse me.

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The license plate you want to see when you're playing the alphabet game in the car.

Also known as

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Only in New York, this one. 

Recycling for second graders

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Any old botl will do. 

Surrender, Dorothy!

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But she's off to see the wizard!

5,000 years in Philadelphia

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Wow! William Penn got that charter earlier than I thought!

Susie Perloff WriterPhiladelphia@gmail.com 215-985-1001

Center City Philadelphia